"Don't mock me boy!"

"Listen to my asscrack, and you will hear the ocean"

"He was a badguy, he hurt my finger"

"YOU’RE AN ENGINEER?!?!? MY UNCLE USED TO DRIVE TRAINS!!!"

"Television is america's babysitter. I bet you australians would like to be able to keep your babysitters from cussin and gettin naked in front of your kids like we have."

"kindly take one of your ears in each hand and pull until you have dislodged your head from your ass"

"I suggest you lick my ass"

"It is ridiculous for you to assume that I give a shit what you have to say."

"I'm so bad I should be in detention"

"Don't take me seriously, I would have vented on any idiot, you just happened to come along"

"If you are afraid of posting here for fear of reprisal and scorn, your chicken-shit ass can e-mail me at…………"

"Hello, my name is Andrew, and I am a Lizbian"

"I believe everything I read too!!!"

"I prefer rear fill (of the listening type, of course) in my vehicle."

"Be sure to use the famous Butthole Tube Driver... I HEAR IT'S A DANDY!!!"

"I like Shiner Original!! That Bock stuff gives me the runs!!!... I'M TOO FAT TO BE RUNNING!!!"

"My car sounds better !"

"Hey sancho, let's go to Jacksonville regionals... it will be a blast... we'll meet flowerdress... WOO HOO... ROADTRIP!!!"

"Let me see what other non-penis related funnies i can come up with..."

"BUTTPLUGGIN MY ASS...HEY WAIT!!!"

"Bodily harm is not what makes me proud of my system……… MEBBE MY ASS FELL OFF FROM THE BASS"

"girls like sex just as much as guys, they just don't want anyone to know"

"When sancho called, i was like, who the hell is this pimp?"